The Stuff (1985)

Imagine finding something oozing out of the ground, and then thinking I wonder what it tastes like, reaching out, grabbing a gooey handful and eating it. Sounds disgusting right? The truth is our whole civilisation is based on our ancestors doing icky things like that from day one – like the guy who discovered milk. I wonder if it was some kind of Neolithic dare, that turned out to be pretty lucky for mankind.
Lets face it, most of our survival is based on dumb luck and lack of dinosaur/human crossover, and not a lot else. We’re here because nature allows it, and no other reason.

After all, we may be top of the food chain but we aren’t always the brightest species in the universe, as anyone who has watched Jersey Shore will know.

The Stuff is the story of a couple of small town miners that discover something delicious oozing from the ground, and decide to market it with the rather lazy brand name of yep, you’ve guessed it … ‘The Stuff’.
Now it’s all very well, eating gak out of cracks in the earth, but when it has a nasty addictive quality that turns folk into pod people, and goes for murderous little slithers while you aren’t looking then , it becomes a little less appetising. Luckily, an ex FBI agent turned industrial saboteur and a skinny little kid who isn’t quite as dumb as he looks, are on the case, the only things that stand in the way of white goo taking over the world, one chilled pot at a time.

Part social commentary on the effects of addiction and the unscrupulous exploitation of mindless consumerism by societies fat cats, part 50’s style sci-fi movie, The Stuff had me from the very first scene. Witty, silly, thought provoking, and a pretty decent horror, Larry (It‘s Alive!) Cohen’s 80’s classic is a satirical creep fest that should be in everyone’s DVD collection. With awesome FX that have stood the test of time against bigger budgets and more modern techniques ( Fun Fact for all you geeky types: the same mechanised room that featured in Nightmare On Elm Street was used in the flaming Stuff running up the walls scene), it’s The Blob meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers with a smidgeon of Tremors for good measure.

The scary thing is that twenty six years on, the films message is more relevant ever – that message being that people are stupid and will buy anything if celebrities endorse it, or there‘s a chance it could help you lose weight.

Intelligent life? Talk about your oxymoron’s.

This entry was posted in critique, film and media, horror, opinion, pop culture, rant, stream of consciousness. Bookmark the permalink.

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