To All a Goodnight (1980)

Now I’m from the U.K, so whatever knowledge I’ve gleaned about American colleges has been taught to me by horror films. It’s not an ideal tutor, I’ll grant you, but I always pay attention, and what my learned, yet psychotic professors have taught me is two things – Sorority girls are scantily clad air heads and Frat boys are dicks. That’s it. That’s all that’s been drilled into my tiny British mind since Graduation Day, and either there’s some serious prejudice going on in the film industry toward college kids, or those are some cold hard facts – does this film help in anyway to break the stereotypical mould?

Well kids, I’m pleased to say it doesn’t. Nice to be able to rely on some things in this mixed up world isn’t it?

It’s Christmas break at the Calvin Finishing School and a group of sorority girls who have stayed on campus drug their housemother (as you do) and invite some boys over for various unwholesome activities that are so predictable, it almost hurts. Thankfully a murderous psychopath in a cheap ass Santa Claus outfit (yeah, again ..) is in the house with them, ready to pick off these obnoxious little Richie Rich’s and Richettes one by one in painful and inventive ways .. Phew!

To say this film is bad, is practically a recommendation, but believe me, I’m not recommending this one to anyone – unless I think you deserve to suffer. A lot. From the shaky camera work to the cringe worthy dialogue this film does nothing but drag its rotting carcass around the screen until it finally lurches into the long overdue credits. Oh and this is me being kind. OK, kind of a bitch, but the truth is harsh sometimes, and I really haven’t got to inclination to talk it up. After about ten minutes in, I started to wonder if the girls had also drugged the Lighting guy, as the film was distinctly lacking in .. um, light! I’m not complaining though, I may even shake the guys hand if he ever crosses my path, as with his merciful incompetence, there really isn’t a lot to see on the screen a lot of the time.

It may not sound like it but I really wanted to like this one, mainly due to the fact it was directed by David A. Hess aka Krug from Last House on the Left, unfortunately it was not to be. I’d rather have watched the Last House on the Left remake than this piece of crap, and after sitting through the thing once, I do not say that lightly.

To All a Goodnight?

Only if you’re not watching it, children.

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