Hit and Run (2009)
Some films are unbelievably stupid, which can either be a good or a bad thing, some films are brilliant in a glossy retarded way, and other films are just meh.
Hit and Run is one of these films. It’s inoffensive, magnolia paint on the film reel of life. I’ve said it before, but it physically hurts me when a horror film can only described with a verbal shoulder shrug – I should be vomiting with revulsion, shaking with fear … mildly creeped out .. I should not be checking my watch and wondering what I’m going to get family members for Christmas, but this is what I ended up doing. I stuck it out though. Thank you stubborn streak for the hour and a bit I’ll never get back.
Mary an irresponsible college girl gets drunk with her fellow bimbettes one night and decides it’s a fantastic idea (because every idea is fantastic when you’re three sheets to the wind) to drive home. On route she hits something, and thinking it’s a cat and therefore not worth her notice, continues the journey back to Mommy and Daddy’s house.
She makes herself sick (oh she’s classy), stumbles about chez Murdoch for a bit, before falling into bed dressed in her most revealing and tight fitting jammies. After a while she hears some noises, so thinking it’s an excellent idea to go downstairs armed with absolutely nothing, she goes down to the garage to investigate. Turns out she didn’t in fact hit a defenceless little kitty, but a man, covered in blood and still attached to her car by the torso. She is the reason why women drivers get a bad name.
When the man, obviously at deaths door and presumably scared she’s going to get into the drivers seat again, reaches out and grabs her, Mary beats him to death with a golf club. A tad over the top, and if she’s going to claim self defence, a little rich also, perhaps?
Putting some wellies on, but not a coat or some less revealing PJ’s, she drives into the woods and sets about burying the mans body – because she’s thought to put a shovel in the boot right? Erm no. Mary picks up a stick and tries to dig the grave with that. She’s a maverick obviously. Anyway, she manages a shallow grave and pops off home to cry in the shower. Job done – because the man is definitely dead right? Nope she couldn’t do that right either.
This film is mind numbingly boring, and the main character is so ridiculously stupid and inept and covering her tracks that I’d have killed her myself if I could have. The film is well made, at least and the acting isn’t horrendous, but by the powers of Grey Skull, it was a gruelling watch, and for none of the right reasons. I was a bit annoyed that we were expected to feel sorry for this selfish, braindead excuse for a female lead, when the victim chose to get his revenge on – personally I think he was a little soft on her. I did find the fact that the man’s vengeful antics were blamed on his mental illness a wee bit offensive also, and his reactions a bit ridiculous toward the end.
Morals of the story? Only giant douche bags drink and drive, and if you’re going to kill someone, for gods sake do the job properly.