Spirit Camp (2010)
Cheerleader camp. A magical and sacred place where high kicks and white teeth reign supreme and brain cells go to die.
Check out the plot.
Nikki a girl who was hand cuffed to a bed and gang raped by a group of I’m assuming armed bastards, manages to escape and kill all of her attackers (Yey for her) is sent to cheerleading camp as part of her rehabilitation. Yeah I don’t actually get why she needs rehabilitation when a medal would be more appropriate, and please don’t ask me why wearing mini skirts and shouting out rhyming couplets is a punishment, or is going to help her get over the trauma of this kind of abuse, but that’s America for you folks.
So Camp Luma isn’t your average Cheerleading hangout – Nooooo it’s the scene of a bloody double axe murder that happened two years previous (of course it is), and wait no it actually gets better – the man convicted for the murders has escaped the same day Nikki (the unluckiest gal since the last horror film I saw) happens to rock up at said place – coincidence? I think not.
Nikki is an alternative and messed up kind of girl (I’m assuming that’s what the costume designers were trying to convey with the heavy black eyeliner, anyway), and the other perky little cheerleader whores (that’s not me being offensive against cheerleaders or women btw, that is the one dimensional characterisation of the script writers. Damn us females, and our sex starved, appearance obsessed frivolities.) do not like the cut of her jib one little bit. One small ray of sunshine in Nikki’s life believe me, but of course when the axe starts a choppin, who do you think they all turn to save their pretty little necks?
I didn’t have high hopes for this – its an indie slasher about cheerleaders, but this film failed to meet the lowest of my expectations, and they were pretty goddamn low, but this thing makes the reveal bit at the end of every episode of Scooby Doo, original and shocking (No offence Scooby – I heart you long time, but I needed to to make a point. You understand don’t ya boy? Would you forgive me for a Scooby snack?).
I get that it’s supposed to be tongue in cheek, and I’m hoping that it was supposed to be more comedy than horror (Bring it On meets Friday the 13TH maybe), but there is no excuse for the lameness of Spirit Camp as a whole.
It was actually the characters that I had the biggest problem with, the stereotypes of women and gays in this film were pretty offensive and believe me I am not easily offended when it comes to this sort of thing – I honestly felt like this film was dreamt up and executed by a group of drunk, men who wanted to take out their sexually repressed cheerleader fantasies out on a horror film and make the bitches who wouldn’t go to the prom with them pay at the sharp end of an axe. Translation? Lots of chicks taking their tops off and running around with their knickers showing.
Feel better do you boys? I didn’t think so.
I actually like bad horror films – some of my favourite horror films are terrible (Freddy vs. Jason I am talking about you.), and low budgets and bad acting aren’t going to put me off if there’s good dialogue and plenty of red stuff that looks enough like blood for me to be happy, but oh Spirit Camp, you didn’t even try.
My advice – watch Freddy vs Jason instead – and that is advice no self respecting horror fan should ever have to give.
If you are a cheerleader/ex cheerleader who is offended my any of my comments, please refer to the part of my blog I like to call Watch How Little I Care – Alternatively visit learntotakeajoke.com.