First off, I loved the storyline of this film, it was interesting, twisted and the dialogue was intelligent and I imagine in the right hands would have been funny, but the delivery of said well written script, well, even for a low budget horror it was pretty damn bad, and lets not forget I have seen a lot of Uwe Boll movies (House of the Dead? I’m mother flipping hardcore – I sat through the whole thing and own it on DVD. Yeah you heard me right, and I know you’re slightly in awe of me now, lets face it, you should be.).
The plot – a girl (who in my humble opinion is a bit too Katie Price looking for my liking) is going round breaking into peoples houses and torturing the bejaysus out of them until, well, until they die silly. She’s mental obviously, likes writing in a little black book and ironically has an extremely low pain threshold. We like her immediately – or we would if the actress who played the killer’s performance wasn’t an absolute abortion .. But I digress. After setting her sights on a unfortunate young man and his friends she really goes to work.
Its torture porn which I do tend to have a soft spot for and the methods which The Girl gets her kicks are pretty cool – the worm in the wound scene while paying homage to Happy Gilmore? Hiya happy place I could have never dreamed of. So my mental issues aside, on death scenes alone I was mentally high fiving the script writer all over the place but for one thing that really is never normally an issue for me, but by Jove it was the proverbial thorn in my side from beginning to end with this beast – continuity.
Yep, say it with me people.
So I’m not normally one of those nit picking geeks that complain because Shatner’s parting was on the left hand side but when he beams down onto Planet Amazon’sInFigureHuggingLeotards its changed to the right, but Neighbour made some downright sloppy mistakes that I couldn’t see past – Hello hammer vs. shin scene with the wound on the wrong leg next time we see it, I am in fact talking to you. It happened far too many times with far too many things for me to either ignore or describe to you here (why spoil the mild irritation for everyone else?), but it severely damaged my viewing pleasure.
It kind of made me a little sad in a way because with the right actors this thing could have been beautiful – I’m thinking Tara Reid for the role of the killer (bazinga – had you going for a second there, didn’t I? I’m such a card!), or in the real and sane world Christina Ricci. The gore lets face it was tasty and the make up artists on this production had some mad skills for what they were working with, even though the film in itself wasn’t terribly original. I also loved the movie references that kept popping up along the way – Drain cleaner beverage ala Heathers anyone?
I absolutely loved this film and I am not ashamed. Its bad, its brilliant, its gory, its terrible and the fact is I need it on DVD now.